omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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