What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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