I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
