i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
