Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
