i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
