I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize