I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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