I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
