we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
