I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
