I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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