I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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