That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
