he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
