Do vagina's smell?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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