her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize