dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
