thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
