Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
