So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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