What did we do last night that was yellow?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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