alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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