Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
