I skipped work to stalk him.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
