Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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