I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize