I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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