She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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