I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
