Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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