I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
