Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
