The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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