we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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