Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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