New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
