I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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