My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
