U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
