Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize