So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
