While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
