Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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