Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I came so hard my ears popped.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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