East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
