I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize