they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
