So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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