those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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