i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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