the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
