How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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