did you get engaged???
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
