come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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