We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
