If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
