I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
