Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
