She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
