We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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