i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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