i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
