I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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