talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
