Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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