We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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