new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
