I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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